Are You a Pause Parent?

Find out where your strengths lie. There are no right answers. Click on the ones that sound most like you.

Q. 1) You’re having a quiet family evening when all hell breaks loose. Your children start arguing and then come running to you, shouting and interrupting each other. You:

a) Wonder how you’re going to get out of this one. With luck your partner will deal with it.
b) Yell at them to stop fighting, decide who is in the wrong and dole out punishments.
c) Don’t see how this one can be untangled, so you sit and listen. You know from experience they will calm down eventually.
d) Leap in and try to rescue the situation, getting right in the middle of the drama. Hours later, when they’re fine, you’re still angry and exhausted from the stress.

Q. 2) It’s Christmas and Granny has just given your son an amazing racing track. He struggles to put it together and then bursts into tears, kicks the box, and says that it’s the stupidest toy in the world. Granny is looking frosty. You:

a) Sit there, paralysed with embarrassment and confusion. What on earth can you say? You long for Christmas to be over.
b) Feel so ashamed in front of the in-laws that you march up to your son, grab his arm and hiss that he’d better apologise right NOW!
c) Realize this is just one of those awful situations. You don’t know how to appease Granny or calm him down, but you’re sure all will be forgiven in time.
d) Jump in with a torrent of excuses and apologies. You can’t let this one rest until harmony is restored.

Q. 3) Your children have begged you to make a chocolate cake with them. After an hour the place is a tip, littered with discarded eggshells and spilt flour. Then one of your children knocks over the chocolate powder and starts smearing it everywhere. You:

a) Realise you’re about to explode, so you go out of the room and take deep breaths until you’re feeling calmer. Maybe you can face the cleanup operation later.
b) Are surprised by the strength of your fury and say some pretty nasty things. Those sticky handprints were just the final straw.
c) Remain calm. This kind of thing wouldn’t bother you at all. There is always mess with cooking. You keep your sense of humour and it is soon cleaned up.
d) Act like a martyr; it’s quicker to clear up the whole mess yourself. But boy are you resentful, and you make sure they know it.

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