The Laid-Back Parent
Laid-Back Parents let their children do a lot for themselves. They trust their children’s judgment and encourage them to develop their independence. Being a Laid-Back Parent can be incredibly satisfying. By having faith in your child and giving her a free rein, her confidence will grow, and so will your pride in her accomplishments.
Laid-Back Parents know that children love being able to do things for themselves.
All the best children’s books, from The Cat in the Hat to The Secret Garden, Swallows and Amazons and Harry Potter are about children who have to work things out on their own, because their parents aren’t around. In real life, of course, children don’t thrive on outright neglect, but step back just a little bit and you may be amazed by how competent your child can be without you hovering over her.
It can also be extremely liberating for you when your child starts doing things for herself. If she makes her own bed, this is one less thing you have to do for her. If you chat through a problem she’s having at school so she can handle it on her own, she will feel more confident than if you go over her head and fix it for her.
Laid-Back Parents don’t feel that they have to prove they are super-parents. They are happy to admit that they don’t know all the answers and they don’t feel embarrassed about asking for help when they need it. They don’t feel they have to be in charge of every aspect of their child’s life and they know that it’s often better when they aren’t.
Other parents might find it hard to let go, either because they prefer being in control or because they want to shield their child from the harsh realities of life by cosseting her. Of course it is our job to comfort and nurture our children, but it is also our job to help them learn to cope with the big wide world. Laid-Back Parents don’t worry that their child will become too independent. Instead, they feel happy that they are helping her to stretch her wings.
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